Former Indian captain Sourav Ganguly was left red-faced as none of the 10 franchises put his name up in the wish list for the second time after the first round of auctions ended on Sunday.However, Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) owner Shah Rukh Khan soothes balm on the ageing Dada, by commenting that there is no IPL team possible in Kolkata without Sourav Ganguly.
Street Cricket in India
The BCCI (Board of Control for Cricket in India) today decided to ban all forms of galli, indoor, school-kid and ‘customised’ cricket games, including those played on streets, in homes, and with tennis, hockey or plastic balls. The BCCI has also declared a life-long ban on those individuals, especially young children, who “spoil the spirit of the game by playing cricket on roads and streets, with tennis or other such balls and do not wear pads or gloves while batting or keeping, among others.”
“This is a gross violation of the rules of the game. It is illegal, lowers the dignity
of both the ICC and BCCI, and therefore, strictly speaking from today onwards, shall be punished,” a BCCI official, beaming with glee, announced.
“We are specially warning children playing cricket without wearing shoes, pads and gloves, or using tennis balls or any non-cricket ball — stop it or face our fury, which will
be unleashed ruthlessly, by placing a life ban on you, preventing you from watching any IPL matches, having your thumbs cut off
if you persist, or your TV cables blocked out of all cricket telecasts,” the official told Sedition and Perdition.
Along predictable lines, all major cricketers, international cricket bodies, national cricket bodies, BCCI officials, ex-cricketers, commentators, Bollywood stars, irrelevant politicians manning cricket bodies, and loads of sport lovers in India supported the move.
“Quite frankly this ban should have been brought into place long ago. For decades now, Indians across the country have been insulting their self-confessed religion of cricket, demeaning its stature, lowering its dignity and indulging in other blasphemous actions, including using tennis balls. How would Brazil react if kids there played soccer with a cricket ball?” a cricket commentator, earlier caught in a betting and match fixing scandal sermonised. “Tennis balls, aagrrh.”
But in sharp reaction, sports goods shops, tennis associations and coaches, condemned the ban on tennis ball cricket. “We will be destroyed if we are not allowed to sell tennis balls to Indian children so they can play cricket with it. What do you think all these tennis courts and tennis balls and racquets are purchased for…to play tennis? Good god, no!”
Tennis coaches across India, who help Indian children perfect the art of playing cricket with tennis balls threatened to go on strike if the ban was not removed. “What will we do? How will we earn and how will we feed our families? Tennis coaches in India will become bankrupt if they have to earn their livelihood teaching tennis,” they said.
In another sinister move, Lalit Modi
announced the creation of a new premium league of cricket which will have 10 overs an innings, to be played only with tennis balls, on simulated gallis.
“This multi-billion dollar league is my
innovation, a new way of playing cricket. We will have everyone who matters — political parties, godmen, industrial houses and Bollywood stars to bid for the teams. Just imagine, premium schools, slums and common galli kids all selected on a reality show with Danny Boyle as a judge, top-notch cricketers from around the world joining the teams, purchased by these cash-rich cricket lovers, and mind you, only 10 over a side, leaving more television time for ads and entertainment… all this is my idea and contribution to cricket,” Modi told SedPerd in an exclusive interview that never happened.
Legendary cricket Sunil Gavaskar, who just managed to save his skin from a life ban for having played cricket in narrow gallis, proclaimed the genius of Modi. “He is to cricket what Goebbels was to the Nazi party,” he told SedPerd in a fictional interview. “Just imagine taking something that is already there, banning it using your muscle, then making a format of it and earning billions… That is the genius of the BCCI and Modi.”
Objectivist, a near anonymous philosopher, reacted saying, “It was always there openly in front of the public. The alphabet ‘C’ in BCCI stands for control…why cricket or cricketers need control, no one questioned. This is the logical end of it.”
In the meanwhile, exuberant stars began planning for the bids, cricketers globally
announced retirement from Test and One Day Internationals cricket to join the Indian Tennis-ball Galli Cricket League, while TV moguls smacked their lips, ad men went frantic creating newer galli-compliant Zoo-Zoos, and little cricket loving kids shrugged their shoulders and began playing Kabbadi on Indian streets, while the unheard poet screamed in pain, “they have destroyed my dear game of cricket completely”.
Mohammad Asif is on action
Embarrassed Pakistani fast bowler Mohammad Asif said he was satisfied with his level of fitness and hoped to live up to the expectations of the Cricket Board and his fans by making a strong comeback in the Champions Trophy in South Africa next month.
“I am eager to represent Pakistan again. I am satisfied with my state of fitness. I know I can make a impact in the Champions Trophy,” said Asif, who is back into the national squad after a 16-month lay off due to a ban for doping and other disciplinary offences.
“I would like to thank the Pakistan Cricket Board for showing trust in me. I would also like to thank the whole nation for having confidence in me,” said Asif.
“I want to perform well in the Champions Trophy and hope to play a major role in team’s victory in the mega event,” said Asif.
The pace bowler was banned in July 2008 by the PCB after he had tested positive in the Indian Premier League and also for being detained in Dubai for 19-days in June last year for possession of hashish.
The IPL drugs inquiry tribunal later banned him for 12-months for his doping offence and that ban ends on September 22 the same day the Champions Trophy begins in Johannesburg.
Asif has been training at an emerging players camp in Karachi under the supervision of former Pakistan captain Rashid Latif to regain his match fitness for the big event.
But his selection has come in for criticism by former Test players who believe the selectors have blundered by hurrying Asif back into international cricket despite his 16-months layoff from all cricket.
The feeling is that Asif could break down in the Champions Trophy as his match fitness is still untested and unclear.
The Board has instructed Asif not to speak to the media in Karachi but in a written statement released today, he said that he had worked hard and benefited from the emerging players camp.
The emerging camp at the National Stadium Karachi (NSK) and Coaching staff (Trainers, Physio, video analysts and skills development coaches) has played a huge part in building my confidence.
“During the matches I bowled with full rhythm and the match-like situation helped me in gaining the much needed match practise,” said Asif.